No More Trouble on the River
May Mean Trouble for the Rivers
Guest Editorial by Jo Schaper
As a lifelong canoeist, I have no problem with efforts to curb obscene, outrageous and or illegal behavior on the river, such as the Riverways’ rules or efforts by the Missouri Canoe and Floaters Association.
But on the other hand, I wonder: where will they go? The young human animal (and sometimes the older one, too) has an innate need to blow off steam. During my youth, that meant a float trip on the Meramec, or the Current River, banging paddles, splashing, and yelling, drinking a little too much for common sense, and horsing around.
It was harmless and everybody did it. And even though we never crossed the line into anything we couldn’t report to Mom later when the hangover wore off, the stress release was welcomed.
When pressed on these new rules, men promoting them (3 out of 3 so far) have backpaddled and say, “We’re not trying to stop people having a beer or two.” I admit it–I’m not much of a beer drinker. Many women aren’t. When they passed the no-glass rule, I fumed, because I do drink Missouri wine, and it only comes in bottles. I still whine when I decant my wine into plastic, while my beer drinking brethren just pop a 6-pack into the cooler.
Now, Senate Bill 2 puts the statewide cross-hairs on Jell-O shots– another intoxicant of choice preferred by women. What’s going on here?
I like sweet, fruity Jell-O shots. But I’ve also always been smart enough to realize they are shots–and just like I’d never chug three margaritas in 15 minutes, neither would I down Jell-O shots like candy.
The problem isn’t the bong or the beads or the Jell-O. It’s the entire lack of judgment on the part of a few rowdies who egg on the shyer ones to join the fray, until the commotion gets so loud the only answer are laws, law enforcement officers writing tickets and making arrests.
I can’t remember the last time I canoed on a summer Saturday. We get up early, and sneak up on blue herons, mink and turtles early on Sunday instead, pick up litter and report anything unusual that needs it to the proper people.. We do this now because as young people both my husband and I went to the rivers, instead of to the bar or the dance hall.
I wish Mr. Scott well, but I don’t think it is possible to legislate common sense. And even if he succeeds, the need to blow off steam is probably genetic. If we chase these young people away from the rivers when they are young, they won’t come back to care for them when they’ve gone gray.
