Two men went out hunting in the West, and had the misfortune to have used up all their ammunition when they ran across a big, stray bison bull.

He was a vicious animal, and he charged the two men, chasing one of them into a nearby cave and the other up a tree.

There the animal kept them, charging first against the tree and then against the mouth of the cave, so that the man in the tree had no chance to climb down and run, and the fellow in the cave also had no chance to get away.

But he kept popping in and out of the mouth of the cave, each time attracting the attention of the bull and getting chased back.

“Hey, you darn fool!” yelled the man in the tree, “why don’t you stay in that cave, and maybe this fool animal will get tired and go away.”

“Darn fool yourself!” yelled back the other man. “There’s a grizzly bear in this cave!”

Jim Owen’s hillbilly humor

One of my smart friends has invented a sprinkling can without any holes in the spout. He says it’s for people who have artificial flowers.

I had a friend who had been doctoring himself for twenty years from Capper’s Weekly. Last week he died of a typographical error.

Fishing stories

Waldo agreed to take his little brother, Wally, fishing while their parents went shopping. When the parents came home, Waldo said, “I’ll never take Wally fishing again. I didn’t get a single bite.”

“I’m sure he’ll be quiet next time,” said his father. “Just explain to him that noise will scare the fish and they’ll swim away.”

“It wasn’t that,” said Waldo. “He ate my bait.”

———

A couple of fishermen are talking. One says to the other, “I just love this sport. Man against nature. Fisherman versus fish. The fresh air. The solitude. Everything’s great. And why do you fish?”

The second guy says, “Because my son’s learning the trumpet.”

———

Two Texans went on an ice-fishing expedition in Minnesota. They gave up after only one day and returned home.

When they were asked why they had come home so soon, one of them replied, “Heck, it took us six hours just to get the boat in the water!”

 

Missouri trivia

1. What Indian tribe, whose name means “one who has dugout canoes,” lived near the confluence of the Grand and Missouri rivers in central Missouri?

2. Five Missouri volunteers were among the hundreds of Americans killed during what famous Mexican-American War battle in 1836?

3. What famous explorer acted as the governor of the Missouri Territory from 1813 to 1820?

4. Which Old West gunfighter from Memphis, Missouri, was portrayed by one-time Slater resident Steve McQueen in a 1980 movie bearing his name?

5. Old West legend Belle Starr was born in February 1848 in what southwestern Missouri town?

6.Hannibal native William Lear, who founded the Lear Jet Corporation, helped developed what popular audio device of the 1960s and 1970s?

Answers

1. The Missouri (or Missouria) tribe

2. The Alamo

3. William Clark

4. Tom Horn

5. Carthage

6. The 8-track tape

(If you have an amusing story, a funny joke or a quotation or saying that you have enjoyed and would like to share, please send it to: Bill Wakefield, Traveler St. Louis Branch, 9707 Pauline Place, Affton MO 63123; or email me at w3@charter.net.)