A mother from the hills writes a letter to her son

Just a quick note…

I am writing this very slowly cause I know you can’t read very fast. We don’t live where we did when you left.

Your Dad read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved away from there. I can’t send you the address as the last Yooper family that lived here took the numbers with them for the next house so they wouldn’t have to change addresses.

This place has a washing machine, but the first day I used it, I put in four shirts and pulled the chain, and haven’t seen them since. It only snowed twice last week, three days the first time and four days the next time.

About the coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to send it by mail with the buttons on so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home and it said if we didn’t make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral by Saturday, up she comes!

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out yet if it is a boy or girl, so I don’t know whether you are an aunt or uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat and drowned. Some of the men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck, one was driving and two were in the back. The driver got out OK he rolled down the window and swam to safety, but the other two drowned, they couldn’t get the tailgate open.

Aunt Hazel is knitting you a new pair of socks. She would have sent them by now, but I told her that you had grown another foot since the last time she saw you, so she is knitting you another one.

Not much more news to tell you this time, nothing much has happened lately. Your brother locked his keys in the car and it took him three days to get the family out and then he had to put the top up on account of it started to rain while he was working on it.

Love,

Your Mom

(If you have an amusing story, a funny joke or a quotation or saying that you have enjoyed and would like to share, please send it to: Bill Wakefield, Traveler St. Louis Branch, 9707 Pauline Place, Affton MO 63123; or email me at w3@charter.net.)

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